


Bank Holiday

by ll_again



Series: Phases of Domestication [5]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Molly Hooper, F/M, Richard looks death in the eye and laughs, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 12:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17203640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ll_again/pseuds/ll_again
Summary: Sebastian threw another glare at Richard. "He is gonna kill us. No way we survive this. Death is coming."Richard slapped him on the shoulder. "Relax, will you? It's not dire enough to start quoting Disney movies, princess."





	Bank Holiday

**Author's Note:**

> A slightly belated Christmas gift for my lovely Molliarty peeps. *smootches*

Molly Hooper was skipping down the sidewalk, much to the dismay of the pair of men accompanying her. She was also drunk as a skunk, and at every uneven patch of concrete, they tensed, both fully aware of the consequences of bringing her home with a busted up face.

"Richard!" she bubbled cheerfully, spinning on her heel to look at him and would have wiped out, except Sebastian managed to catch her by the elbow just as she stumbled. "Sebbie!" Molly squealed, bending her head back to look at him. "Let's go again."

"Oh we will, darling," Richard said, flashing her a grin while Sebastian scowled at him over Molly's head. "But right now it's time to get you home. Jim's waiting for you."

Molly made a face, poking her tongue out through her teeth. "I guess," she sighed, and let them lead her onwards.

Sebastian threw another glare at Richard. "He is gonna kill us. No way we survive this. Death is coming."

Richard slapped him on the shoulder. "Relax, will you? It's not dire enough to start quoting Disney movies, princess."

Scowl deepening, Sebastian lowered his voice. " _I'm_ gonna kill you," he hissed.

A lifetime of weathering his brother's inventively vicious threats left Richard with a serene smile in the face of Sebastian's rage. "If you say so. Princess."

…

"Well, well," Jim Moriarty purred from his armchair as the trio attempted to sneak into the flat. He was every inch the Bond villain, from his pressed suit to the cat in his lap.

Toby, on the other hand, was patently unhappy to be playing Evil Villain Sidekick when he was so clearly meant to be a Star. Jim's poise was somewhat ruined by the need to hold Toby in place with both hands while the cat wiggled viciously, trying to free himself from this unworthy role.

"I see you've been having fun," he said through gritted teeth. No one could tell if his tone was from anger or Toby's claws digging into his leg. "Without Daddy, no less."

"JIM!" Molly said happily, drunkenly oblivious to the tense atmosphere. "Guess what! We went to see _strippers_!"

Jim's eyes narrowed at Sebastian and Richard. Toby, seeing his chance, bolted off Jim's lap and streaked towards the bedroom, hissing the whole way.

"Did you?" Jim all but growled, eyes never leaving the men he considered responsible for this current state of affairs.

"This was not my idea," Sebastian protested.

At the same time, Richard fluttered a hand dismissively. "Owner's a friend of mine," he said. "I wouldn't dream of taking your precious trinket anywhere seedy. Mark runs a clean place."

"I got punched in the eye!" Molly decided to interject just as Jim started to relax, in the same state of ethanol induced ecstasy.

Sebastian started contemplating the benefits of ritual suicide. Richard held up his hands in pacification while Jim fumed in silence, too enraged to even speak.

Seemingly unaware of everyone else's reactions, Molly tripped across the room, landing heavily in Jim's lap. "With a boooob," she finished in a state of pure delight, twining her arms around Jim's neck. "A giant one." She sat back a little with a dreamy look. "It was great."

Richard shrugged sheepishly. "They do a vigorous lap dance there, what can I say?"

"We should gooo," Molly 'whispered' into Jim's ear, oblivious to his wince. "But I get dibs on Candi." She giggled. "Her name is Candi because she's sweet."

"Her name is definitely not Candi," Sebastian muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Jim looped his arms around Molly's waist, pressing his palm against her hips to keep her still, lest she enthusiastically wiggle a knee into his groin. He pinned his brother with a flat stare. "You took my girl to a strip club and bought her a lap dance?" When Richard nodded, Jim asked, "...Why?"

"It's a bank holiday, and you were busy?"

"Teach you to abandon me for work," Molly muttered into his neck, starting to doze off, much to the collective relief of everyone else in the room.

Richard regarded his _de facto_ sister-in-law with a fond smile, then turned to Jim with a grin every bit as wicked as little brother's worst. "Incidentally, you never mentioned that Molly's into women."

" _Really_ into women," Sebastian added, not surprised by the fact she was bi as much as the wild enthusiasm she'd shown at the club for each new pair of knockers.

"Not as much as she's into me," Jim crowed. Richard clapped his hands in gooey delight, and Jim scowled at him. "Don't be smug. And brother, dearest…"

"Yes?"

"If you take my girl out without me again, I will skin you and stuff you for a window display."

"Boo." Molly grumbled, coming out of her doze. "Stuffed Richard is boring."

Jim looked down at her thoughtfully, not bothering to look back up as he addressed the two men. "Bugger off. I'm going to need a reenactment of this lap dance. Your presence is no longer required."

That woke Molly up fully, and in silent unison, Richard and Sebastian took in the gleam in her eye and decided that, yes, it was time to flee before they saw something that would make them wish Jim had just murdered them after all.


End file.
